Tosha Toney-Scroggin

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

What is your purpose? Who are you? What are you supposed to be doing? These are questions we have all asked ourselves. These questions had kept me up at night for the past two years. Who am I, and what am I supposed to be doing? What is my purpose?

I have spent most of my adult life battling my way to the next level of my career and going 90mph to get there. I kept thinking that if I found the right position and title, I would know exactly who I was, discover my Godly purpose, and feel like I made it to the finish line. If I were sitting in the right office and doing the right job, I would feel waves of peace and purpose washing over me daily from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm. Then I would clock out, go home, check everything off on my to-do list, and be the best wife and mother anyone has ever seen. I would continue to ride the waves of peace and purpose until bedtime. I can do it all and have it all. Well, that’s not what happened.

Doing it all and having it all was exhausting. Every promotion led to temporary peace, more unfulfilling assignments, and the same feelings of restlessness. Every promotion left me shaking my head and thinking, I thought I had it right this time. Isn’t this the job where “I” change the world and finally feel accomplished?

Every promotion led me to ask the same questions. God, what am I supposed to be doing, who am I, what’s my purpose, and where is the peace? As I prayed, God kept repeating the same answer, “Follow me and rest.” That’s it? I didn’t understand this answer. Follow me and rest? The dictionary defines rest as “To cause someone or something to stop doing a particular activity or stop being active for some time to relax and regain your strength.” Surely, this was not the right answer.

Ever since Kindergarten, I have been told I can have it all and do it all. It’s been the headline in every magazine I have read since high school. I wasn’t even sure what “it all” was then. Was it a title, prestige, money, accolades, a bigger spotlight to stand in, another opportunity to receive admiration? Yes, and it was all about me. It was about self-discovery, self-naming, self-serving, finding my passion, rising to the top, and blazing my trail. You can fulfill your purpose and take a break when you reach the top. The world told me I could have it all and do it all. All I needed was another checklist, more grit, and more passion. I was conforming to the patterns of this world and not following God’s instructions. There’s the conflict. It seems obvious where I went wrong now, but it wasn’t so apparent while doing it. I was the frog in hot water and big trouble.

Not only had God been continually prompting me to slow down through prayer and scripture, but He also started putting people in my path to tell me this. My husband and I check in with some very close and wise friends from time to time. During this check-in, I was given a message I will remember forever. The message was this, “God will get your attention one way or the other, and sometimes he has to take drastic action to slow you down long enough for you to listen.”

Okay, the message was clearly received, as I did not want God to have to take any drastic action. It was time to pump the brakes, slow down, and exit the worldly race I had voluntarily entered. I had no way of knowing where this was going to lead. All I knew was it was time for a break. I needed to surround myself with as much God as possible and seek wise counsel.

My husband and I decided this was the best time to join a life group. Our new life group was finishing up a Bible study and getting ready to start a new book, Jamie Winship's Living Fearless: Exchanging the Lies of the World for the Liberating Truth of God. Do you see what God did there? God is so amazing, and He is always right on time. This is exactly what I needed and when I needed it the most.

Going into the book, I thought I would discover the answer to my most important question: What career puts me in a direct pathway to rise to the top and fulfill my purpose? There wasn’t a job title waiting for me in the book. It was bigger…much bigger. I was about to be stripped of my worldly, less-than titles. This was about who God is and who I am in God’s eyes. My true identity was about to be revealed to me.

Our God-given identity, our true identity, is who we are, no matter where we are. There is no clocking in or clocking out. We are to live in the fullness of this identity. It’s who we are, not what we do. We are to use this identity in all settings, which is how we fulfill our purpose. Our purpose is simple, written a long time ago in Matthew 25:16-20.

The job title never mattered. I have always been where I am supposed to be; I just couldn’t see it. No physical location, company, or job title opens the door to fulfilling my purpose. Purpose is all-encompassing, and you fulfill that by exchanging the lies of the world for the liberating truth of God. We are to be a light in the darkness but keep the spotlight where it matters the most, shining on Jesus and the Kingdom. It was never about me. It was always about Him. Everywhere you are, be who God called you to be. That is where you will find God’s peace and purpose.

If I hadn’t slowed down, dropped the checklist, and joined the life group, I wouldn’t have heard anything God had to say about these very important questions I had. I have asked God for the answers so many times, but I never stopped to listen, follow, or rest.

In the book, you are prompted to ask God two questions. You do this as often as you need to. Now that I had my new identity, it was time for me to ask the second question. If you want to know the first question, you must read the book. The second question is, “What do you want me to do?” I was ready for my new assignments. Naturally, I was expecting some monumental, King David-sized assignment to be given to me. God had told me to rest for a while, so I must have had a grand assignment heading my way. I asked God, “What do you want me to do?” He told me to make a loaf of bread and cook dinner for my family. I asked again, “God, are you sure that’s what you want me to do?” He said, “Yes, that’s it.”

That seemed easy enough, and cooking is one of my favorite things. It’s peaceful! At that moment, I realized something else. Everything we do is vital to God. Every assignment has a purpose. We serve a God that knows exactly what we need to do, even when we don’t. Sometimes, we are called to take down giants and rule nations. Sometimes, we are called to gather some wheat at the edge of a field. Sometimes, we are called to bake a loaf of bread. No assignment is too small.

“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28