I used to be you

Martha Olawale

"He saved us, not because of our righteous deeds, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit." Titus 3:5

Although Christian parents raised me, I've not always been a Christian. I was born in sin, with the desire for sin, and I lived in sin. As I became aware of my conscience, sin only bothered me to the extent that it hurt others, and if the law says anything is correct, then I'm good. I built my castle and ignored the nudging of the Spirit of God within, urging me to step beyond the acceptable laws to honor my creator with my life.

I believed in God at that young age but thought He was too busy to mind me. Although my heart unrelentingly tried to figure things out by itself, it was overwhelmed by the weight I didn't even know I was carrying. The world God blessed me with was beautiful but had little meaning to my weary heart, and I searched for answers to the many questions I had in places and from people who could not help me. In place of communion with God, I delved into a world where I could daydream and create perfection through my own eyes.

I was a good person by the world's standards because I never got into trouble. I treated people right and respected the people in my life. However, my soul was a rebel against the things of God. It ignored Heaven and wandered off into the abyss. I allowed my heart to rule and placed my desires above God's. I was content with navigating within the confines of the law, marking my checkpoints in self-righteousness to grade myself.

It takes God to know God, and it takes a Savior to be saved. If you've not met Jesus, I used to be you, a morally upright, dreamy-minded, lofty-eyed, goals-seeking, good human. However, I was empty until Jesus came and changed my life, transforming me into a new being. He walked me beyond the veil of the law to live above the defined good of the world. He exchanged my selfishness for love and peace, and gave my heart a song to sing, always. Jesus released my soul from the abyss of nothingness and set my eyes on Heaven above.

I'm no longer lost or displaced; I'm safe in God's hands. And now, I'm not indebted to the law because I now live above it with Christ. I'm at the mercy of a gracious Father whose love is eternal and whose mercy endures forever. Although my heart still gravitates toward sin because of my human nature, I have an advocate in Christ Jesus, and He gives me the strength to live above my limitations.